I got a new phone a while back, leaving me with a completely empty user dictionary. Again. In the time since then, the following lexicon has come to define me in the digital age:
ass, assclown, assclowns, assed, asshole, AWP, badass, ballsy, barfly, bedlam, beets, belay, berets, bitches, blogs, blowjob, blowjobs, bodega, Bogart, boggle, boggled, boner, boners, boning, boobs, bowtie, bozo, BQE, braintrust, bros, bullshit, burping, catchphrases, Classon, Clint, cock, cocks, coddle, coddling, crap, crapsteak, cunt, cunts, cusp, cuter, cutest, dammit, damn, dang, Dekalb, dicking, dicks, Dien, doling, douche, douchebags, Duh, Dumpy, dustpan, dweeb, fart, fawning, finagle, foists, Freddy’s, fuck, fucked, fucker, FUCKERS, fucking, fucks, gah, Gatsby, gawk, gents, girly, gobsmacked, godspeed, goner, goon, Gotham, guh, hah, haha, hahaha, Hamurabi, HBO, hehe, hell, hiccups, hijack, Hipp, Hipps, hipsters, hokey, honks, hoodie, horseshit, horsiest, hula, hungover, interrobang, ipso, irk, jizz, joyeux, Katniss, kitties, levee, LGA, ligament, lightsaber, lofted, Lolita, looker, Loup, medic, meh, MFA, middling, minx, moleskines, Mommom, Motown, Muppets, nah, napped, naps, nerdy, Netflix, nigga, noir, nom, noodge, NYU, OKCupid, omg, ooooo, palatial, PBS, pee, peed, peeing, peeps, pees, Peeta, penis, pff, phew, Phillies, pied, Pogues, Poppop, Po-tee-weet, probs, puke, puked, puking, punchline, puppetry, pussy, Pynchon, pétanque, quai, reals, resend, roofied, Rory, sappy, sexiest, sexytimes, sheesh, shit, shite, shithead, shitheads, shits, shitting, shitty, sing-alongs, slut, smarts, socked, sot, splink, Springsteen, stooge, strep, stripper, sullies, sully, Supermen, suss, sweethearts, taco, TARDIS, tater, Tennant, texted, texting, tine, tits, torrential, totes, transom, transvestites, Treehouse, trumps, Tudor, twat, umpteenth, undead, unfunny, vibe, Vonnegut, weiner, werewolf, wh00t, whinging, whore, whorehouse, Williamsburg, windowsill, winging, worthless, wtf, yah, Yorkers, Yuengling, yup, Zach, Zack, Zelda.
If anyone needs me, I’ll be having a Yuengling at Freddy’s with a couple of transvestite shitheads with middling lighsabers.